When a loved one is taken through homicide or culpable road death, the impact does not stop with one person or one household.
The grief, shock, anger, confusion and trauma can ripple out across families, friendships, relationships and communities.
It can affect people in different ways, at different times, and with different levels of support around them.
Yet one of the things people sometimes ask is:
“We’re not immediate family… do we still count?”
The answer is simple.
Yes. You do.
Loss does not only affect the next of kin
After a homicide or culpable road death, support is often focused around the person legally recognised as next of kin.
That is understandable, especially when there are formal processes, updates and practical decisions to deal with.
But grief does not follow legal definitions.
A person’s life is made up of many relationships. Parents, siblings, children, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, partners,
close friends, neighbours and people who were “like family” can all be deeply affected.
Sometimes those outside the immediate household feel they have to stay strong for everyone else.
Sometimes they feel they should not ask for support because “others had it worse”.
Sometimes they feel forgotten altogether.
But if you are affected, your grief matters too.
The ripple effect of traumatic loss
Homicide and culpable road death create a type of grief that can feel especially complicated.
The loss itself is devastating, but families may also be dealing with shock, unanswered questions, media attention,
police investigations, court processes, sentencing, appeals, parole updates, or difficult conversations with children and young people.
These experiences can affect people across the wider family network.
You may be:
- a grandparent trying to support your child while grieving yourself
- a sibling struggling with anger, guilt or unanswered questions
- an auntie or uncle helping care for children in the family
- a cousin who grew up closely with the person who died
- a partner or former partner trying to process the loss
- a close friend who feels like their grief is not recognised
- a neighbour or community member affected by what happened
- someone supporting the family, while quietly struggling too
There is no ranking system for grief.
You do not have to be the loudest voice in the room, or the person with the official title, to deserve support.
Everyone grieves differently
One family can experience the same loss in completely different ways.
Some people may want to talk. Others may go quiet.
Some may need practical help. Others may need emotional support.
Some may feel angry. Others may feel numb.
This can sometimes create tension within families, especially when everyone is trying to cope with their own pain.
It is also common for people to feel pressure to be the “strong one”.
They may focus on supporting others, organising practical things, or keeping the family together.
But being strong does not mean you are not hurting.
The HUB recognises that each person’s journey through grief is personal and complex.
That is why the first step is not about making assumptions — it is about listening.
How The HUB can help
The HUB is a gateway to support for families affected by homicide and culpable road death.
We are here as a first point of contact, helping people understand what support may be available and where they may need to be connected next.
It is important to be clear:
The HUB does not provide every form of specialist support directly.
Instead, we listen, take details, understand your situation and help connect you to the most suitable support through our trusted network.
This may include signposting or referral to organisations that can provide more specific help depending on your needs.
Depending on your circumstances, this may include:
- emotional support
- peer support
- trauma-informed services
- support connected to the criminal justice process
- practical guidance
- support for children and young people
- specialist organisations better placed to meet specific needs
You do not need to know exactly what kind of help you need before contacting us.
That is part of what The HUB is here for.
You may need support at a different time to everyone else
Grief does not arrive neatly or all at once.
Some people feel the impact immediately. Others cope in the early days and struggle later, when the shock begins to wear off.
Wider family members and close friends can sometimes feel their own grief is delayed because they are focused on supporting the immediate family.
Weeks or months later, they may suddenly feel overwhelmed.
That does not mean you are going backwards.
It means you are human.
You may find yourself struggling with sleep, anxiety, anger, low mood, guilt, isolation, or difficulty concentrating.
You may avoid certain places, dates, conversations or memories.
You may feel disconnected from people around you because life appears to have moved on for everyone else.
If this is happening, you do not have to wait until things become unmanageable.
You can reach out and start a conversation.
Supporting someone else does not mean you cannot be supported too
Many people who contact The HUB are not only grieving — they are also caring for others.
They may be supporting children, parents, siblings, partners or friends.
It can feel difficult to ask for help when you are used to being the person others lean on.
But support is not just for those who appear to be struggling the most.
Sometimes, the person holding everything together is the person who most needs someone to listen.
The HUB can provide that first conversation and help identify what support may be right for you.
From there, we can help connect you to the right organisation or service.
You do not have to explain your relationship perfectly
Families are not always simple.
Relationships can be close, complicated, blended, distant, private, or difficult to describe.
You do not need to justify why the loss has affected you.
You do not need to prove that your relationship matters.
If you have been affected by homicide or culpable road death, you can contact The HUB.
We will listen, take details, and help you understand what support may be available.
A first step for anyone affected
The HUB exists because no family should have to navigate the aftermath of homicide or culpable road death alone.
That includes the wider family members and close connections who may be grieving quietly in the background.
If you are unsure whether you should reach out, you can still start with The HUB.
You do not need the right words.
You do not need to know what to ask for.
You do not need to wait until things feel worse.
We will listen, take details and help connect you to the most suitable support.
Contact The HUB
If you have been affected by homicide or culpable road death, The HUB is here as a gateway to support.
Contact us to take the first step.